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May 2022

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I Asked God A Question

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          Many of us have been and still are admonished because we question God. The questions I refer to is not in defiance but in need of clarification and understanding. In the past and even now I found myself seeking answers from God and asking “why”.

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          You see, my mother answered God’s call for her life. The fact that she had chosen a different religious sect, was an ordained minister of the gospel, and a female in the predominately male role in the church, conflicted with several neighboring pastors and their congregations. We expected some form of unsolicited opinions and aversions, however, it was never her intention to disrupt the status quo.

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          My mother was robed and ordained at Blessed Saint Martin Spiritual Church in New Orleans. With those who mattered, in solidarity, it was a joyful experience. The family and friends in attendance were there to support and acknowledge her calling as part of her personal relationship with God. In making her choice she was met with sarcasm, ridicule, personal opinions and vile remarks involving her family. This insensibility included family members and alleged friends. My mother faced each challenge with a smile on her face and love in her heart. I on the other hand felt the indignation of each word and deed. These were people she had known all her life and considered family and friends, yet here they were acting as if her decision affected them.

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          While singing with my church choir at a revival at a neighboring church, I was confronted with harsh, undignified, and selfish remarks as the pastor uttered venomous words from the pulpit. He received support from persons within the congregation while my choir members and many visitors listened in disbelief. Spiritual Ministers were ridiculed because they adorned robes for worship service. The robes represented the abandonment of egotism before entering God's house, because the purpose was to praise, honor and exalt God and the teachings of His holy word.  When we ask questions, God answers us in various ways. I had asked the question “Why is God allowing these cruel things to happen simply because Mama’s personal choice is to follow His will?”

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          The answer was revealed to me just when I felt I had reached my limit. That day, as I listened  I became visibly upset. This gentle hand touched mine; and as I looked into a face of sympathy and understanding, the words I heard still resonate… “Baby, he’s not worth it”.  Tears began to roll down my face and I felt a release. It was at that moment I knew that the undue pain and humiliation my mother faced was to make her stronger.  And with this understanding I felt pity for those who could not fully comprehend God's choice for her life. The duplicity endured was miniscule in comparison to the anticipated reward that awaited her in Heaven.

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          Over the years, some of our family relationships have eroded. Others have annealed. To those who openly accepted God's calling for her life, she offered kindness and love. Those who chose to continue their crusade, steeped in defamation, criticism, and exclusion were and still will be embraced in love, understanding and forgiveness by her and her descendants. This is the legacy

she left for those who despitefully used her and said all manner of evil against her for Christ’s sake. 

Yvonne Richard Sanchez

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